My Approach
There’s no single way I work with people.
Sometimes it’s helpful to understand a pattern. Sometimes we need to slow down enough to feel what’s happening underneath it. Sometimes the body tells us something that words can’t. Sometimes there are different parts of us pulling in different directions. And sometimes experiences from the past need to be processed, rather than simply understood.
I integrate a blend of therapeutic approaches because people are complex, and what is helpful for one person may not be helpful for another. My work is collaborative and grounded in the therapeutic relationship, with attention to your emotions, the body, relationships, history and the context you’ve grown up and live within.
I don't see people as broken.
I believe we have a capacity to heal and adapt, and that the ways we respond to difficult experiences often make sense in the context of what we've lived through. Sometimes, though, experiences can leave us stuck in patterns of responding that continue long after the circumstances have changed. Part of therapy is creating the conditions to understand and work with what has become difficult to shift.
The Therapeutic Relationship
You don’t have to perform your way through therapy.
The relationship we build is an important part of the work. I want you to feel able to be yourself in the room — including the parts that are difficult to explain, contradictory, uncomfortable or hard to share.
I’m not simply listening for what you’re saying. I’m also paying attention to what may be happening underneath it, and to how you experience yourself and other people in relationship. We can be curious about what happens between us too — including moments when you feel misunderstood, uncertain, guarded, disconnected or more comfortable opening up.
I’ll bring my clinical knowledge and experience, but I won’t assume I know your experience better than you do. We can slow things down, ask questions, notice what emerges, and work together to understand what feels meaningful and useful.
Context Matters
We don’t develop our ways of thinking, feeling and relating in a vacuum. They develop within the relationships, environments, cultures and communities we move through, and the experiences we have along the way.
Some of the ways we’ve learned to respond may have been shaped by what we needed to navigate at the time. Over time, these ways of responding can become so familiar that they start to feel like simply “who we are.”
Who have you had to be?
The roles we take on in our families, relationships, friendships, schools, workplaces and communities can shape how we see ourselves and what we come to expect from ourselves. Maybe you became the responsible one, the achiever, the peacekeeper, the one who looks after everyone else, or the one who learned not to need too much. We can explore what these roles have meant to you, what they may have required of you, and what it feels like when you step outside them.
What have you learned?
Along the way, we develop ideas — often without consciously choosing them — about ourselves, other people and how relationships work. You may have learned that being loved means being useful, that conflict means disconnection, that your feelings are too much, that you need to achieve to be worthy, or that relying on yourself is safer than relying on someone else. These understandings can shape what you expect, what you notice and how you respond, often without you realising it.
What are you carrying now?
What once helped you navigate your relationships or circumstances can become a familiar way of responding long after those circumstances have changed. You might find yourself automatically taking responsibility for other people, keeping your feelings to yourself, staying in control, withdrawing when things feel too much, or pushing yourself harder when you feel uncertain. We can look at what these responses have been doing for you, and whether they still fit the life and relationships you have now.
What’s Happening Beneath the Surface
Understanding where something comes from is important. But sometimes knowing why you respond a certain way isn’t enough to make the experience feel different.
Emotions
Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) understands emotions as an important source of information, while recognising that the way we experience and respond to them can be shaped by our relationships and earlier experiences. We can explore which emotions feel easier or harder to access, what you learned about expressing them, and how your emotional responses make sense in the context of your life. This can help you understand what you’re feeling more clearly and decide how, if at all, you want to respond differently.
Body
Sometimes you can know that you’re safe, that something is okay, or that a situation isn’t really a big deal — and still find your body reacting as though it is. Your heart might race, your chest might tighten, your stomach might drop, or you might feel numb, frozen, restless or disconnected.
Somatic psychotherapy recognises that our bodies can develop ways of responding through experience, sometimes before we have consciously understood what is happening. In our work, we can pay attention to these responses while also helping your body experience greater safety and steadiness. This might involve grounding, movement, breath, self-touch, or guided imagery and supportive figures. Over time, this can help you stay more connected to yourself when things feel difficult or overwhelming, and give you more choice in how you respond.
Sometimes different parts of us want, need or believe very different things. One part of you might want closeness while another wants to protect you from getting hurt. One might want to rest while another insists you keep achieving. You might know that you want something, while another part of you is doing everything it can to stop you from having it.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) and other parts-based approaches offer a way of understanding these different experiences without treating one part as the problem. Different parts can carry different memories, emotions, needs, values and ways of seeing the world, and many develop protective roles in response to what we have experienced. We can become curious about what each part is trying to do for you and what it may need. This can reduce the feeling of being pulled in different directions, soften self-criticism, and help different parts of you work together more easily.
Parts
Psychodynamic therapy helps us notice recurring patterns that may be outside our immediate awareness. Earlier relationships can influence what we come to expect from other people, how we see ourselves in relationships, and what feels familiar or safe — sometimes without us consciously realising it. Understanding these connections can make patterns that once felt confusing more understandable, and give you greater choice in how you relate, respond and move through your relationships.
Patterns
EMDR Therapy
Sometimes understanding an experience isn’t enough to change how it continues to affect you. EMDR offers another way of working with experiences that remain emotionally charged or continue to show up in the present.
I use EMDR alongside my broader relational and attachment-informed approach, drawing on it when it may be helpful to process memories, emotional responses and patterns that have remained difficult to shift through talking alone.